


Too Late for I Love You

by ArtemisKane



Series: Trials and Tribulations of Artemis Kane and the Gangsey. [8]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25274290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtemisKane/pseuds/ArtemisKane
Summary: “Well if you want a girlfriend who just shuts up and does whatever she’s told, well then maybe we should break up!”“...yes...”Gansey’s voice is very quiet as he stares at the asphalt on the side of the road where we are all standing, having stopped the Pig to have this fight. God how I wish we were back at Monmouth and not fighting. Why do I have to open my stupid mouth! Why do I have to push away anyone who cares for me!“...What?” I murmur, not sure I heard Gansey right. Wishing I didn’t hear Gansey right.Gansey takes a deep breath, raising his eyes to look at me, “If you feel that way, that Adam and I are trying to control you, then maybe we should break up.”
Relationships: Adam Parrish/Original Female Character(s), Past Artemis Kane (Original Female Character)/Jason Morganson (Original Male Character), Richard Gansey III/Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III/Adam Parrish/Original Female Character(s), Richard Gansey III/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Trials and Tribulations of Artemis Kane and the Gangsey. [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814629
Kudos: 3





	Too Late for I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> *Context*
> 
> All characters are 19, all characters are in a soon to be destroyed consensual polyamory relationship, and Artemis Kane is a feisty, loving, self-sacrificing, analytical Omega Werewolf.
> 
> So, this is a flashback. It’s the break up scene that happens before “Love me hard, love me true.” I’m gonna be writing and then posting the reconciliation scene soon.
> 
> Enjoy!

I wish I could go back in time. I wish this wouldn’t have happened. I wish my stupid ex-boyfriend Jason hadn’t shown up and tried to ‘make me his again’ by trying to kill Adam and Gansey. I wish I had handled Jason better.

I wish Gansey would stop looking at me with pure betrayal in his eyes, and that Adam’s wouldn’t be so devoid of emotion.

I wish it wasn’t my unruly anger in control of my words right now.

“I saved your lives”, I snarl, “so why are you so mad, huh?”

Gansey scoffs.

“Why?” His eyes blaze with a mix of pain and fury, “Why are we mad? Because you put yourself in harms way to ‘protect us’ when we could have stopped him together! Again!”

His words only spark a bigger flame inside of me.

“I don’t need you both to fucking protect me.” My voice comes out as a low growl. “I was fine on my own before I met you, and I’m still fine now. I didn’t just suddenly become weak and incapable of protecting anyone.”

“I’m not saying you can’t protect yourself or anyone else!”

“Then what are you saying, Gansey!”

“He’s saying that you should’ve trusted us to help you.” Adam’s voice is calm, but I know that on the inside he’s anything but. His anger is like mine, wild, vicious, violent. But he’s doing a hell of a lot better job keeping it under wraps than I am right now. “He’s saying that you shouldn’t have gone behind our backs and ‘handled it’ just cause you thought us getting involved would get us hurt.”

I feel a block of ice settle in the pit of my stomach at his words, and this same ice lashes out when I open my mouth. I let out a cold, harsh laugh.

“Well,” I sneer, “aren’t you one to talk, Adam, Mr Sacrifices Myself to Cabeswater Behind My Friends’ Backs.” Adam’s emotionless mask splits a little. “Seems rather hypocritical you telling me not to do the very thing you yourself did to your own friends.”

Adam remains silent.

“Got nothing more to say?” I jab, voice violent, “How exactly is my not telling you both about my plan, in order to protect the people I care for, you both, different from what you did, huh?”

I keep my eyes locked with Adam’s. His gaze is steady, collecting his thoughts. I notice in my peripheral Gansey glancing over at Adam, also waiting for his reply.

Adam inhales deeply before speaking.

“It’s not different, which is exactly the point-”

“What, so you’re saying you were wrong?”

“Yes!” Adam bursts out suddenly, “Yes! I’m saying I was wrong, ok! Yeah, something had to be done, and done fast, and yes I wanted to finally feel like I was on equal footing with Gan- with everyone, but I shouldn’t have gone behind their backs, and I’m trying to not always do everything on my own just because that’s how I’ve done it for all my life, ok? I’m fucking trying!”

I stare at him, unsure what to say. Gansey also regards Adam with a curious look.

“My point,” Adam continues while fire burns in his eyes, “is that you don’t have to be so fucking stupid because you think you’re protecting us. You can’t keep pulling stupid shit like this and then expect Gansey and I to trust you not to keep putting yourself in danger when we tell you that we can handle it.”

That raises my hackles once more.

“Well if you want a girlfriend who just shuts up and does whatever she’s told, well then maybe we should break up!”

“...yes...”

Gansey’s voice is very quiet as he stares at the asphalt on the side of the road where we are all standing, having stopped the Pig to have this fight. God how I wish we were back at Monmouth and not fighting. Why do I have to open my stupid mouth! Why do I have to push away anyone who cares for me!

“...What?” I murmur, not sure I heard Gansey right. Wishing I didn’t hear Gansey right.

Gansey takes a deep breath, raising his eyes to look at me, “If you feel that way, that Adam and I are trying to control you, then maybe we should break up.”

The ice that had been in my stomach makes way for slow vines that begin to choke me. 

“You don’t...” I falter, turning to Adam who is now staring at the ground in turn, “Adam...” My voice sounds borderline plaintive with the fear chocking me.

Adam slowly looks up at me, eyes mirroring the pain I feel. I already know what his answer is.

Tears cloud my vision as a choked sob leaves me.

“So that’s it?” My voice is wobbly and raspy with tears. All I can think is Please no, please no, I can’t lose them, please just make this stop, please!

“Artemis...” Gansey’s eyes look so sad, so broken.

A high pitched broken sob fills the air, and it takes me a little bit to realize that that sound was me. Hot tears are now streaming down my cheeks, the vines finally fully chocking me and the pain hurting worse than if I had gotten shot with a wolfsbane infused silver bullet. I can’t breath.

I turn on my heels and sprint away from them, my heartbeat roaring loudly in my ears, the image of their hurt eyes and Gansey’s words seared into my brain.

If they call after me, I don’t hear it. If they chase after me, I don’t notice. All I know is that I can’t handle this, I need to run, I need to escape, I need to be back at Monmouth with the boys that...that I love....

Oh god...I love them...And now they’ll never know...

I’ll nevermore be able to see Gansey’s gorgeous dimpled smile, nevermore see how his stunning hazel eyes light up when he talks about something he’s passionate about, nevermore cuddle him close in the dead of night, all wrapped up and safe within the confines of Monmouth.

I’ll nevermore be able to count the sporadic freckles on Adam’s tan skin, nevermore be able to gaze into his deep and soulful blue eyes, nevermore run my hands through his dusty blond curls, nevermore be able to smooth away the deep frown lines that appear on his face when he’s analyzing something especially hard.

Nevermore will I be able to kiss their lips, to feel their touch, to tell them how I feel.

I howl loudly into the night, letting all the pain and heartache and regret and guilt ring out into the night sky.

I run, and I run, and I run t’ill I can’t anymore.

I love Richard Campbell Gansey III and Adam Parrish. 

But now it’s too late.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! As I said, this is a flashback, and I will be writing and posting the reconciliation scene soon, so stay tuned!! As always, constructive feedback is much appreciated!!


End file.
